Posted on August 10, 2011


Man, it’s been a weird couple weeks. I haven’t felt the urge to write anything in nearly three months, as my life has been settling. The shifting, creaks, and minor repairs that come with a settling foundation have kept me running in circles. Just as things were calming down, Murphy’s Law kicked in and I was upside down again.

Kelli and I had just purchased a trip to visit Florida. Everything at work was streamlined for the time being and moving forward steadily. I sold my old dirtbike for a decent price and I had just started riding trails on the mountain bike as I waited for my new bike to come in. Yep – I even had enough money in the bank to purchase a 2012 dirtbike. Everything was just as I thought it should be. It didn’t last.

I was on track to be at the office even earlier than normal, so I stopped and grabbed breakfast. A block from work, I noticed a cop car poking out of a parking lot, so I let up a bit and checked my speed. As I got near, I noticed he had the radar gun pointed the other way anyhow and I began to breathe again until I noticed his ears perk up. He was already sticking out into the street, and just as I went to pass in front, I saw him look down and fumble to holster the radar gun while taking off into the street. I thought, “you’ve got to be kidding,” just before he slammed into the side of the Civic. Around and around I went, finally landing between two trees up on a median some 60 feet from where he pulled out.

The next few days were spent bumming rides while I put hundreds of dollars into my pickup in order to have transportation since I was denied a rental car. The garage door opener and house keys went to the collision center with the car, so I was locked out of the apartment. Luckily, the ceiling in my bathroom was spilling water into my apartment, so after a few hours of sitting in the parking lot, I was able to get in via maintenance. Insurance totaled the car and I began the search for a new vehicle despite my lack of credit (I’ve always just paid cash).

Two days later, Kelli’s best friend from high school was in a car accident and pulled from life support the following week. We headed to Amarillo to pay respects and pray for her safe arrival into the Kingdom. Very few times in my life have I felt as pained as I did those two days, watching Kelli reunite with friends to say goodbye.

The day we got back, Kelli was hit by another vehicle on her drive home. She was fine, thank God, but extremely shaken up after enduring such a draining weekend. Now, it’s her turn to organize insurance, collision centers, and rentals.

Now, I sit in the aftermath of the last two weeks in awe of how quickly our lives change. I don’t know if it’s the car accidents, death (very uncomfortable for me), or relative quickness in which it all happened, but the uncertainty of everything has really kicked in. We all understand, to some degree, the uncertainty of life and the certainty of death. I believe we also understand how fragile the future can be in regards to our finances, family, and careers. That’s why we save money, visit family, and keep our skills and resumes sharp. What I think we all don’t understand the pace at which this all happens. Maybe it’s just me.

If you live in Texas or certain parts of the Midwest, you know it hasn’t rained in months. I read today Texas has received 6 inches of rain this year as a whole. We are normally near 15 inches. It hasn’t been this dry since either the 50’s or  1980 – I can’t remember. Crops are dead, animals are dying, rivers are dry, and people are frustrated.

In a way, I’ve felt the same over the last two weeks; parched and in need. Sunday, I went to church with Kelli. My favorite part is sitting in the pew after Mass, watching everyone hurry to their cars. Once everyone has gone, I use the quiet to think of the drought outside and the drought in many of our own lives. For some, it’s religion. Others, relationships. Money, work, health, happiness, love. It all feels as though it dries up every now and then, just as our home. This is when I find my peace.

Once everyone has gone, I sit. And I pray for rain.